I'm back.

Comments?

paigeElyse.

<333

I just read my subscribtions for the first time in a long time and I started crying. A lot is new in my life sinse I wrote last. I'm not going out with Kyle anymore. I thought it would be hard breaking up, but I just remember the week after we were forced to break up I felt so refreshed. He took so much out of me that I hadn't realized while I was going out with him. He distracted me from everything that was good in my life. I also never felt like I was good enough for him, which by the way if any guy does that to you then he's not right for you and you need to end the relationship immediatly! If you have to change who you are inside to make satisfy them, then you are only losing sight of who you are. At this time there was gossip at my youth group about this girl who had been through a similar situation. I then had it in my head that it was essential that I talked to her because I needed someone in my life that I could talk to and have them understand and give me support, and vise versa. I confronted her and we started talking and what not and I found out that she has an eating disorder. After the situation with her and her boyfriend, she didn't eat for 2 weeks. Coinsidentally we are best friends now. Spring break I went to California, and once again it was brought to my attention how much I hate the midwest. I wish I lived there soo much. I came back and told my now best friend about it and how I planned to move out there by myself when I graduate and she said that she would go with me and so now we are both planning on doing online schooling so we can finish up highschool early, save up money, and move out there. Along with everything else that I love there, there's a boy. Of course there's always a boy. He respects me soo much. And if I end up moving there when I graduate we might end up hooking up. Who knows? We message back and forth daily. As for me and my best friend, we have also planned on losing major weight before we head out. Great motivation. Right now I am home sick from school. I have no desire whatsoever to eat and I hope it stays like that.

Til next time beauties!

<3PaigeElyse

Okay, well I have to be the dumbest person on earth... Saturday night I snuck out with my boyfriend and it was all good and we didn't think we got caught... eh... but we did. And both of our parents know exactly what went on. This might seem too bad to any of you but both of us come from strict christain homes. Not only am I restricted from seeing him again and vise versa, I might be pregnant. haha- Anorexic and pregnant. Funny right?- How about not. I don't know what to do. My weight was going down too. There goes the 90's by this summer. I will still come on here if I am. Even tho I will be a complete fatass I still will be capable of giving support to you all and posting thinspo. I won't be mad if I am. It'll mean that my boyfriend and I will still be seeing each other, if you can see where I am coming from. And if I am not, I have no desire at all for food anymore. That means extreme fasting. I fasted from Saturday night to Tuesday by the way...

-Love-

PaigeElyse

Are there any blogrings for anas that got pregnant?

I'm back. Alrighty ladies, I've got some news. I am a dealer.... lol. Sorry, that sounds so weird. Don't freak out tho, it's not what you're thinking. This past week two girls have asked to buy diet pills from me.Weird, yes, but I pass as 18. Both of them have lockers right next to mine and we have agreed to keep it 500 calories a day- my idea because they are just starting out and I don't want to be too harsh on them. I am staying at 0-300. They aren't anorexic and don't know that I am. One of them has disorderd eating and the other I don't know. Track started Monday... I love it sinfully I swear. I have practice from 3:30-5:30. I have been training on my own along with that. I get up at 4:45 to go running and occasionally run before bed. I want to go to state sooo bad. I told my coach and he said that he didn't think that they have had a freshman go to state. I want it bad. My boyfriend is going to Australia for track this summer and I am just a wee bit jelous. Prom is coming up- April. I don't have a dress yet and I'm not really looking forward to getting one. I'm going with my boyfriend -of course- and he goes to a different school. I wouldn't be nervous about it if it wasn't for the fact that he's on prom court and that means attention. I want to put off 20 pounds by then. Realistic?- probably not. I've been feeling really dizzy lately. I think it is because I have been working myself way too hard and am not getting more than 4 hours of sleep a night at most. I am posting a recent picture of me. Gawd how I wish I looked skinnier.

***

<3PaigeElyse

Currently Listening Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Has a Bodycount By From First to Last see related

There are things in this world that I cannot control. Like what time the sun goes down.

But there are some things I can.

The ball is in my court for what I put in my body.

And if it may end up being nothing,. Then more power to me.

My intake for this upcoming week WILL be 100 calories a day or less.

I will not dissapoint myself again!

That is a promise. 

 PaigeElyse